Thursday, September 15, 2011

in between lives

empty wagon crop

I've moved a billion times, yet I always forget how weird and unsettling that space is in between worlds -- when I'm dismantling one but have not started reconstructing the next. Eager to move forward as fast as possible, but anxious to linger behind as long as I can. Moving along at breakneck speed one moment, dwelling in syrup the next. Watching storms pour out of one corner of the sky and seeing the sun burst through another. Sandwiched between lives, one that is no longer mine and one that is not yet mine. I didn't even really have words for it until I stumbled on this scene along the (nasty) Kansas river with someone's vacant wagon -- this describes it perfectly. Not a sense of emptiness so much as it is feeling squished by fullness from both sides and not knowing exactly where to put my feet at present.

P.S. Drawing room is still on, but the visit dates will have to be surprises instead of regular postings on Tuesdays -- I have too many schedules to coordinate and not much time to pick up a pen. But I will start again soon, because I love doing these features and escaping into others' lives temporarily! Our next guest has plans to open her next studio in a hammock and wants a fuzzy pet chicken named Guacamole.

27 comments:

bohemiannie! art said...

I can totally relate. We moved from Florida (me in my 50s...hubby in 60s) last year to South America. Barranquilla, Colombia to be exact. I'm loving it here but it was - before and after the move - quite an adjustment...to say the least. I say...Bloom where you're planted...and I find myself doing just that. I'm sure you will too.

painted fish studio said...

i don't know how you do it!

Buffalo Lucy said...

Beautiful photo! And beautiful post!

sooz weissberg said...

Wow, Aimee, that is SUCH a fascinating photograph!! I try to imagine what the Kansas river is really like, from this ... it has an air of desolation, but the golden tones, what are those? Does it really have that, or only as the sun is going down ... or only through the camera lens ...? Kinda stunning, my friend!

aimee said...

thank you! ♥

sooz, i took that through an instagram filter, but the scene really didn't need it. the weather was really complicated that day. sun and storms all at once. the sun was on its way down, which made the contrast really interesting, and the filter enhanced it in all the right places. when i walked back down the path 30 minutes later the sky was flat again and the magic gone. (so was the wagon.)

Shannon said...

What a beautifully written post, Aimee. I am feeling that way a bit lately, too, and although I'm not moving from my home I'm for sure feeling change coming on and my feet haven't quite settled. Good luck with everything. I would love to see you before you move! I will come to Lawrence one morning. Could we meet for coffee at the mass st. park and let the boys play while we visit?

cath c said...

no worries. i'm not moving and have been neglectful of my blog with the various things going on around me and school starting...

Ravelings said...

Just a little warning: My mom and dad were all ready to move once. They had sold the house. All their friends had a huge going-away party for them. Then, the house sale fell through, Dad's job situation changed, and they ended up staying in the city for another year and a half. How awkward.

freebird said...

But each day passes and slowly you will settle into your new world. And you will be able to pick up your pen again.

Sadee Schilling said...

How awesome that you were in the right place at the right time to capture the photo that communicated your heart's feelings so well! I love how you describe that feeling--being squished by fullness on both sides. I TOTALLY know this feeling.

Andria said...

You express that "in between state" so well, both in words and in your photo. Best wishes for your transition to move forward without too much more discomfort!

Chel said...

*huge giant hugs* Just take it one day at a time, and take some time off every day to indulge yourself in something really wonderful. (I know, easier said than done, but... )

Cindy said...

you'll get there!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

your photo is amazing but more so your words!

Marcie said...

A wonderfully evocative image..and I can see how it speaks so clearly to where you are at the moment - betwixt and between.
Everything about this is so beautiful - honest and true.

la ninja said...

guachammockle.
that word should exist. oh wait, it does now :)

(go aimee, go aimee, go aimee...)

Rabbit Hole Report said...

Haunting photo, Aimee. Your instinct to keep creating/blogging through this transition is a healthy one I think. BTW, I at first misread your line about a storm in the corner of the sky as a storm in the corner of my eye, which I suppose could apply to the tearful moments as well!

Wishing you peace and joy in and around, above and below the process...xo

Connie said...

Sending you a few boxes of LOVE! You have room--right?!?!

BIG Hugs!

queencake and titangirl said...

hi aimee, haven`t left a message for quite a while now, but wnated to let you know that i`m still here, reading, enjoying and learning.lovely post. wish you all the best for the moving and the new start. best from faraway berlin,anja xx

Lisa G. (Happy Mama) said...

I hear you. I so hear you.

<3

We Three 3 said...

I'm in my third place in two years and I know exactly where you are coming from. I love your post.. I don't like the 'in between' and what I usually do is chant over and over, "this too shall pass" ;)

oneartistjournal said...

Sooooooooo beatifully written..you took me there, I know these sentiments, aching and giddy at the same time...what a great photograph...even the "nasty" kansas river seems to have romance, and mystery...XOXOrly

Carrie said...

Aimee - how I love thee xxx

AG Ambroult said...

I can't imagine. I spend an embarrassing amount of time thinking about what it will be like when we move, and here we are completely underwater. In other words, we;re not going anywhere and I am stressed about it nonetheless.
That picture is great, and I love how the artist that you are recognized the metaphor/beauty of that scene. I'm looking forward to reading about your move!

Inner Toddler said...

you and me both. same same.

Lynn Fisher said...

considering I get all stressed out without moving...I don't know how you do it Aimee!
Amazing photo by the way...and I have missed some very important posts I think...a lot going on here lately.

jane said...

hi aimee! am sitting in a coffee shop in philly and i thought of you. geez! have been out of the blog loop for awhile and had no idea you were moving. so for now, i'm sending you lots of hugs and will write you when i get back. :)