Friday, December 10, 2010

no more

no-more

next week my thirties will be coming to an end, and good golly, what a ride it has been. it's an irresistible thing to flash back to where i was at the end of my twenties, and then heave a sigh of relief that i am where i am now and not where i was then. i was so much younger in body, but so much older in spirit. i lived a divided life. on my own watch, i was happy: did as i pleased, went where i wished, spent time with people i liked. professionally i was a miserable wretch. every monday i got on a plane, showed up to whatever company i was dispatched, and shed myself in a heap on the front door before i went into the building. i can still feel so clearly how it felt, not strong or secure enough in my own skin to take along the parts of me that i needed the most. every thursday night i came home, spent, and collected myself out of that puddle and began the recharging process until it was time to go back. and as i picked through my thirties, i wondered, "why is this so hard? where is the unity? when will this all come together?" well, the reason was because it WAS hard, and i had to realize that the unity and togetherness were only going to come from inside, not from the outside. it involved making choices, standing by them, standing by my own side when i screwed up. in short, it involved not only figuring out my identity, but also taking responsibility for it.

this line has been traveling around in my journals and notebooks for as long as i can remember - and now i feel like i've finally earned the right to put it in color. not because it's something already accomplished, but because i'm finally starting to believe in it.

navel gazing complete. have a nice weekend!

48 comments:

Briana said...

Wonderful! Good for you! PS Love the "navel gazing complete!"

Sarah said...

Woo hoo! Well done you! I have come to the conclusion that basically life is hard-but you have to keep on trying! There-why aren't they paying me for my philosophies?!
Happy forties and have a good weekend!

Krissy said...

Cheers to your girlfriend! Happy early birthday to you.

Eden said...

I love your drawing and it's message! I think that the 20's is NOT a time to be admired, because we are still so inexperienced with everything! we express ourselves very clumsily and we don't have a clue what we are about yet!

I'm a HUGE advocate for "KNOW THYSELF"!!

Happy early birthday girl!!!

Buffalo Lucy said...

Wow, Aimee, this may be my favorite of your doodles yet. Beautiful and heartfelt!

Happy early birthday!! We'll be contacting you about drinks! ;)

cath c said...

wonderful! forty really is when you just say, ah eff it, this is who i am, take me or leave me, it's fine by me.

Liv @ Choosing Beauty said...

what an awesome post, aimee. you are such a great writer. and i can totally relate to the shedding and hiding of yourself - been there, done that (and occasionally still catching myself doing that). this piece is radiant and so are you. xoxoxo

Giggles said...

You are amazingly prolific! What a joy to hear you finding your true authenticity! What a beautiful thing. Why does it take us soooo long! This piece art is a spectacular tribute to that coming of age so to speak...or should I say coming to self! Nice inspirational post! You are coming into the sage years!

Hugs Giggles

a bit about tana... said...

Just LOVE your art, Aimee!!! Only a couple years for me until I leave my thirties behind and venture into the next chapter...and I am so happy with who I am and what I stand up for. And yep, it did take a while to get here, but well worth the wait.

Happy Birthday!!
Tana

**We BLOG ARTISTS** said...

LOVE this post...
Hope you enjoy your BIRTHDAY week next week.
HUGS
Char.x

lori vliegen said...

isn't it amazing when the realization hits us that sometimes we're the last to know who we really are (it always seems like those around me get the memo before i do!)! so glad you're spending your time navel-gazing these days instead of sitting on a plane......! xoxo, :))

Jeannine said...

Good for you for forging your own path. I love how you are able to channel your real life experiences into art - inspiring.

Wishing you many happy birthday wishes, and a cupcake! ♥

Megan Walker said...

Awesome doodle Aimee! I absolutely *love* the message and story behind it - that makes all the difference. Good for you that you are where you are - what an *awesome* place to be!

xoxo

JessiVille said...

I love your declaration and the colors you did it in. Yay you! This is my favorite one you have done so far! I have found the forties so much more comfortable. You have come into your own so to speak. Happy birthday to you and may this new decade be awesome for you!

freebird said...

So many people insist they aren't a day over 29 but who really wants those years back? I like who I've become since then much better. Glad you've found that too. Happy Birthday coming up!!

Bella Sinclair said...

Standing ovation!

A gorgeous doodle about a gorgeous individual, inside and out.

xoxoxo

Karen Blados said...

Yep, the older I get the happier I am with me. I am constantly amazed at how well you put these feelings and ideas into words. And don't get me started on the illo! Happy Birthday!

Esti said...

I'm so happy for you. Of course I who have reached my forties recently totally relate here. I only wish I could express myself like you do.

Nicole : Three By Sea said...

I just kinda love this. A lot.

la ninja said...

complete? whaddayamean complete?
we obviously need you on the role of our own fantabulously doodlemagic jiminy cricket. we're not done yet. ta very much.

I shall be celebrating the big 4-0 with a bang in a few months time too.
yihaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

muchísimas felicidades, guapa xx

rachel awes said...

PRINT BOUGHT.
favoriiiiiiiiiite!
& i loooove this has risen
from you as you bridge your being
now into your forties!
(i love my forties by the way!!).
i'm sending you
somuchlove
& big happy birthday wishes
& celebration of you being you
& thanks for me having some
connection to your life really
showing up at the door & radiating in all the rooms! xoxox

Lori said...

Aimee- Oh WOW, that print is amazing. She's GORGEOUS and radiant and glowing and shining in all her glory. I love it. happy birthday, sweet friend. Welcome to the 40's. You're in good company :)

Debbie said...

Yah for you! Love the colors in your journal page!

Coreopsis said...

Good for you for figuring out what the problem was and doing something to solve it. I've found the 40's to be the very best decade (so far). Best of luck with it--it seems like you'll be going in strong.

TopazPearleGirl said...

Happy early birthday!
The 40's rock!!

S.E.Minegar said...

you always know the perfect thing to say.

hope your b day rocks.

mtnmermaid said...

Thanks for stopping by the mountain mermaid. Love your latest 'doodle'. She is absolutely beautiful...Enjoy your birthday week. Hope you have something special planned for the changing of a decade.

Candied Fabrics said...

I've been LOVING my forties, come on over, the water's warm! ;-)

Shannon said...

YOU rock. what a perfectly wonderful way to welcome your 40's...with open arms, an open heart and an open mind. happy birthday to you!!!

pixie said...

OH GODDESS YES. Yes!! Happy birthday, amazing doodling laughing spilling creature...
I adore you so.

jane said...

:) not even 40 and you´ve figured that out? i´m impressed and a little envious. happy birthday week! and i´m still smiling from thursday´s post ;)
xxx
p.s. thanks for the link!

The Original Drama Mama said...

Wonderful post, wonderful doodle - and have a wonderful birthday!!! Thanks for this, makes me look forward to the years ahead rather than dread them (they can still take their time getting here though) ;)

Domestic Scribbles said...

Have a grand celebration!

peggyfussell said...

Brava!
Happy Birthday to you!

freefaller said...

I love this post and the doodle!

storybeader said...

golly aimee! sounds like a horror, keeping up with two lives! So glad you feel complete - your art is so lively and colorful, I had no idea! Happy birthday! {:-D

suzanne cabrera said...

BRAVO!!!!!!

Splendiferous Girls said...

Welcome to this side of 39...lol..my 40's have been the best so far..Thank you for stopping by my blog. Love your new drawing.

Christine said...

You are pure power! I love this post, and I love that you feel this way about being where you are. I feel like whou-hooing :-)) waving arms over head, jumping up and down. For you.
Happy Birthday, and congratulations :-)))

chrissy said...

BEAUTIFUL!
aimee.....i Love it.
i needed these words 10 years ago myself!
happy birthday to you dear girl.

i love this post.

xo
chrissy

Inner Toddler said...

you need to navel gaze more often sunshine. I still remember talking about all of this with you over plantains...the thing is this goddess person has always been in you. happy birthday month.

L'Atelier said...

How wonderful and inspiring Aimee!
It is really great to hear this. While i spent my twenties wondering who i was, i stopped wondering and started discovering myself truly in my thirties. Last year (at 35) i had this sudden thought, well my youth is over- but it was somehow a huge relief, i feel the stupid fulishness is gone made space to a more fullfilled and balanced person :)(i still feel youngish ;))
Happy early Birthday, may many more years of discovery and wonder lay ahead for you! -and many years of inspiration and amazement for us!
xxx

cindy said...

damn right! happy birthday, aimee!

Dana Barbieri said...

I love this. Happy Birthday to you!

curly girl said...

This piece is amazing There is no doubt—you've definitely earned full blown technicolor!

We'll be in the same decade for just a couple of weeks, because I leave the forties behind for my fifties in January. I'm hoping the fifties bring me a peace with myself and who I am, finally! Wishing you a very sweet, fun-filled, happy birthday today and a satisfying, wonder-filled decade ahead!

Anairam said...

That is a GREAT line.

AG Ambroult said...

well then. Looks at you now--livin' the drea,. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine you in your previous working life.

Dawn said...

wow, that page is stunning...it grabbed me right away. But then, you weave that story in!! I am turning 30 in a few weeks and it frightens me.