Monday, August 3, 2009

how not to paint chairs


1) dig a dusty chair out of the attic. 2) do not wash, brush off dust, or do any other kind of preparatory work. 3) use only gunky, cheap old craft paints, and 4) slap them on quickly and randomly. 5) do not let dry in between coats. 6) leave doors closed to keep the vapors in. 7) make sure you have two children to care for/mediate/feed/reprimand/ soothe, a lawn to mow, bills to pay, two projects due, a toy to dig out of the sink, applesauce to clean off the deck, a suitcase to pack, etc. this will keep your effort level to a minimum. 8) place flowers on the chair for a staged effect. 9) take a photo in direct sunlight to wash out the colors. 10) enjoy your new chair.

43 comments:

Lori said...

Hi Aimee, I'm Lori- I saw your work on Pecan Noot and I am a huge fan. I am going to get myself the "make time for your art" print. This post is funny- I swear I would never do any prep work before diving in! The chairs look great :)

jennifernew42@mac.com said...

You are TOO funny! Love it.

Kirstin said...

I think the only thing you may have left out is getting your children to "help" paint too :-)
That's always fun and clean up becomes its own unique project.

Christy said...

You're so clever. :) What cheerful chairs!

Krissy said...

what cheery chairs! when I was a wee-one, my mom let us paint a chair like this for our room any way we wanted. Mine was the strangest brew of rainbow colors with black/white handprints :)

amuse me said...

Now I need to hunt for an old, dusty chair! :) M

jersuzstuff.blogspot.com said...

Yeah! And use anything hanging around.
Now for the headache to follow. I've moved my chairpainting outside, but now my husband complains about the painted grass, go figure.

e.beck.artist said...

perfection!

Romilly said...

Oh Aimee - This sounds so much like the way I'd go about painting a chair! (Or staining a dresser...don't ask my husband about my abilities in that arena...he might tell you!)

Silke said...

This is just how I would do it! Well, I don't have children, but our pets like to be right there inspecting what I'm doing, reaching up a paw to make sure the paint is still wet... Are you saying there's another way to paint chairs?!? ;) Silke

la ninja said...

what are you on about? they are perfect.
me likey.

cindy said...

sounds perfectly, perfect to me! the dust adds texture and i have some of that around myself ;). i love the colors and some hand prints would have been fun, too!

Carmen said...

Love it Aimee!!! They look great by the way!

~Valentina~ said...

Believe me, I did the same with 2 chairs I found in my a garage in OH. I'm so happy I was living in a cave and nobody could really *SEE* what I did with the chairs!
Your chairs looks *LOVELY*

whenigrowupcoach said...

So....this project worked out, then? :)

Michelle | When I Grow Up Coach
whenigrowupcoach.com/blog

painted fish studio said...

they're perfect!

Pat said...

Can you teach us how not to do everything else you do so well? Please?

soulbrush said...

roflol this is hilarious, can i send you my chairs not to paint please?

Bella Sinclair said...

Whatchyou talkin' about, girl? It must be da vapors talkin'. These chairs are gorgeous! The two-toned distressed look is festively rustic, and the colors -- oh, the colors!

Looks like you've been keeping super busy this summer. One of these days, take off the potted plants, have a seat, and enjoy the view.

XOXOXO

Cris Siqueira said...

aimee

they are so wonderful, i love those chairs!!

and it was a funny post!!

happy day!!

●• Thereza said...

hahaha that's hilarious :) love the result!

joanne said...

i think i will borrow some children so i can follow your instructions to the letter... the chairs look awesome :)

peggyfussell said...

Yes, that is just the way to do it!! Thank heavens for you. Now where are all those dusty chairs of mine...

Demara said...

You're hilarious! lol

Liz said...

ok I'm following the directions carefully, and digging a dusty chair out of the garage... questions to follow, I'm sure!

Anairam said...

Hahahaha!! This is so funny! And it is doubly funny because this is SO exactly how I approach any diy project. Minimum of preparation, minimum of forethought. I like to live life on the edge ...

Anairam said...

PS Oh, I was going to say, the chairs look lovely anyway! It just shows that our method works ...

kendalee said...

This made me laugh because that's EXACTLY how I would paint chairs (and have done in the past)! Minus the two children. Brilliant. And I think the chairs look great!

S.E.Minegar said...

they look artsy to me!

Katrina said...

this is brilliant! i especially love the part about the applesauce. xoxo, k.

~Barb~ said...

Hey, this is my kind of painting! LOL
Peace & Love,
~Barb~

NANCY LEFKO said...

thanks for the chuckle :) too funny !!!!

FruensWerk said...

HAHAHA..you are funny and very busy...hihi ;)

wild child said...

LOLOLOL - oh Aimee, I am still laughing :) That was a genius post - and the chairs look AWESOME!!!

Love,
Meg xoxo

writewhereiam said...

Gosh, you're so funny...I laughed until my sides ached. Yet somehow the chairs look absolutely great...how?
Hmmmm, I have an old dusty dresser (actually, I have an old dusty everything)

Pam said...

AH Aimee, You always charm me. xo, pam

kj said...

this directions are so clear any intelligent person could follow them...

:)

L'Atelier said...

How funny love it! they do look lovely...maybe we should all do it like that ;)
hope you well xo
pls tell me you joining the weekword?!

Suzy D. said...

I think they look very cute.
I wish I could just jump into a project on a whim and have it turn out like this!

Alexandra Hedberg said...

I've read this post three times over two days - and it still makes me laugh!

Megan Coyle said...

this post made me smile :) glad to hear that you like your new chairs

aimee said...

you all are so indulgent of my crafty mishaps ;)

heather smith jones said...

I like seeing your shadow in the image too. :)

I hope you have safe travels home! {I am now reminded of the photo of your grandmother, traveling in her beautiful attire.} :)